When caring for someone feels more like a tornado in our soul. We feel it in our gut. We know something is wrong with the way we feel when we are with this person. This person who we try and think the best of and see such good things in them if only they wouldn’t do this_____.
We are on top of every other area of our life and yet we have this one place in our life where we feel powerless to make the best choice for our self. Why?
Every-time we have a bad encounter we find ways to excuse their behavior or to see past what they said or did. It may go something like:
- So and so is just having a moment (although they have had these moments before at our expense); or
- I am sure they didn’t mean it, they are just under a lot of stress right now; or
- I have times when I am not at my best too, I need to cut them some slack.
We tend to make excuses for people we care about and mostly because we have become use to do so. We often don’t realize that when we let someone slip the first time each time after that becomes harder and harder to pull ourselves out of the quick sand. We have participated in our own trauma. Trauma can keep us immobilized.
Now any or all of these are okay in a relationship that has way more highs than an occasional low however, when the relationship has intense moments when you are mortified, embarrassed or hurt by someone else behavior and you do not defend yourself or stand up for yourself, here me when I say, This is not a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP because you are not taking care of yourself emotionally. You have ABANDONED your own self for the sake of someone else. NOT OK!
If you can’t accept what I say then look at this video of Dr. Phil and Oprah talking about the same issue.
What Dr. Phil says! Click here!
The Key signs are: ridicule, sarcasm, criticism, degrading comments and humor at your expense.
The people who do these behaviors are also: Backstabbers, Abusers, Imposters, Takers, Exploiters and Reckless!
If you are one who cannot extract yourself from a relationship that is harming you emotionally, please do call me today. Let’s talk one on one confidentially about what is keeping you stuck and why you are blocking yourself from happiness!
Dr. Mary Kay Keller