Knowledgeability Clarity of Response Timeliness Politeness Nomination?
10 10 10 10 Yes
Comment: Thank you. Your comments about my own feelings were right on. I do not want him to be that grown up yet. He is starting high school this year and that seems so grown up, along with this issue…
Questioner: Tammy Subject: teenage daughter acting out and depressed
Question: Hello. I’m writing in reference to my 14 y/o daughter. She’s been breaking household rules, sneaking out at night, has engaged in (that she’ll admit to) oral sex twice, has been drinking once, and her grades are slipping. This past week was the second time I’ve caught her sneaking out; the first was around Christmas.
She’s had her cell phone taken away, house phone and internet priveleges taken away, and is grounded until school lets out and probably most of summer vacation. She’s depressed and moping around. She wants to sleep all the time and do nothing. Her world has been so focused on a negative social life. I need help in directing her toward finding some positive direction and motivation in her life.
She has a step father of two years with whom she “hates”. He and I have a lot of problems and our counselor just told me that he has mood disorder and BPD. She hasn’t told him this yet as she doesn’t feel he’s ready to accept it. He’s very defensive. My family’s a wreck!
I’m trying to learn as much as I can about BPD and how to cope with that issue and to help my daughter get back on track. She used to be an honor student and was very grounded. I desperately don’t want to see her throw her life away.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated!
Answer: Tammy, I am so sorry to hear how full your hands are right now. I have to ask you because you said your daughter is only 14, is depressed and is acting out sexually…..is she being sexually or physically abused? Children this age do not usually act out sexually unless their emotional development has been interrupted by trauma they are not equipped to deal with by themselves. It sounds as if your daughter maybe protecting you from something which is going to make her self destruct.
Please get help immediately before this goes to far down the wrong road. Start with why she hates her step father and move on from there to see who or what has hurt her so much. She is too young for you to lose so early on.
Best wishes,
M Kay Keller
