Questioner: Je’
Question:
My 14 year old grandson was caught hunching on his 3 year-old sister. He is in detention; his parents dutifully reported it in order to get them counseling and detention is the immediate result. Both were fully clothed.It had happened before apparently. He is not at all a mean or forceful kid; no trouble in school or out, a tad immature for his years. He has always cared for his sister and been affectionate with her-but this type of behavior is of course, unacceptable. This has devastated his mom and I am very sad, too. He’s going for evaluation tomorrow. Is his behavior seriously abnormal? He’s always been an extremely good kid.
Dear Je:
First let me say that I am glad someone got some help for your grandson. Too many time families fail to protect the younger sibling and protect the offending sibling which isn’t good for either.
In spite of writing me, you know it is. as you stated. unacceptable. I understand you not wanting to see what is happening for what it is, as you love your grandson.
That he would act out on a 3 year old means that he most likely has been a victim himself. This is not going to be easy for any of you.
Do seek some support for yourself and I hope his parents are getting some professional support as well. Most importantly I hope someone has gotten the 3 year old to a play therapist to allow the 3 year old to process this as well. The 3 year old is the least capable of processing this alone.
Best Wishes!
M Kay Keller
