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Comment: Thanks. Your advice has been very helpful. I bought a nanny cam too.:)
Questioner: laurita young
Subject: teenager stealing
Question: I have 3 teenagers aged 15 17 and 19. We live with my husband who is not their father. Someone in the house is stealing
especially from my husband but also from each other. I have no idea how to prove which one it is. any suggestions? This is causing a great divide in the family especially between me and my husband. Please help.
Also, any suggestions on how to get my 19 year old daughter motivated to get up living her own life? she passed up a scholarship this year and is now not doing anything, not even working.
Answer: Dear Laurita,
Okay one issue at a time. Stealing is serious business. (Any chance it is the 19 year old who is unmotivated and not even working?)
1. Stealing. Family therapy NOW. Stealing is not a good indication of anything. Not knowing or having a good idea which of the 3 teens is stealing, so not a good indication of anything. Family Therapy!
No you are not a bad parent, you are a parent who needs some outside consultation. Big difference.
2. 19 year old living at home not going to school and not working. Hand her a bill for her share of the living expenses: Rent, Utilities, etc. Ask her how she intends to pay her way in life. (Do Not Back Down). Next: do not provide any other expenses other than the food, and the roof over he head. Her personal expenses are her own. She is over 18 and needs to realize she has to grow up. She cannot however, grow up if she has it all handed to her. Getting the picture? I am sure I am not saying anything that has not already crossed your mind. She either needs to launch to school or get a job.
Three teens you have your hands full. Get it right with the first one as the other two are watching!
M Kay Keller