Knowledgeability Clarity of Response Timeliness Politeness
10 10 10 10
Comment: You are correct about that. I will make sure that there is nothing wrong with him because I would never forgive myself if there was and I did nothing. However, I still can’t help feeling unjustly accused and hurt. I wish people would think before they acted but, if they did and everything was “normal” I would have no career to look forward to. Thank you so much for your help and concern.
Subject: 7 year old sexual curiosity?
Question: QUESTION: I am very concerned about my 7 year old son. A few months ago my brother and sister-in-law, moved into our home. They have a five year old and a three year old. About two months ago, their five year old and my 7 year old(both boys) were caught, by her in the room both with their pants down and one behind the other.
I cannot tell you what the intent was but, I know for a fact no sexual act was committed.
Now, my seven year old is being treated like a sex crazed pedophile, I need to seek counseling for him, he is going to perpetrate a sexual rampage on the entire household, HE IS 7 I explained to him why all of that was wrong as they did with their son. I did punish him and then even though I was uncomfortable with the situation, I treated it like curiosity(currently I am working on my Masters in Psychology/counseling so, I knew not to send him into a state of feeling like he could never speak to me).
The situation is this their three year old was at my sister-in-law’s parents house he apparently said something about his behind hurting and said my son’s name. Now, please keep in mind the three year old does not speak clearly and he had been having diarrhea for the past three or four days. They are going to have him checked at the doctor and her parents are threatening to get CPS involved. I am very worried, upset and saddened by this entire situation.
I will have him seek counseling, he has lied and stolen before but, nothing I have considered outside of his age group. This is difficult, I don’t think he is a demented freak but, everyone is treating him like a grown man who attacked an infant. Is there something wrong with him? (I have five other children and he is the baby, I know that the older ones have been curious before but, that was with each other.) Thank You in advance for your help.
ANSWER: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry as I can hear your mother’s heart aching for your son. I can only imagine how painful this situation must be for you. I also understand what it is to work in this field and have a child who is acting out. You need to layaside any guilt you maybe feeling.
Now to address the issue. I am concerned as you mention he has stolen and lied to you and is acting out sexually. While it is common for children to experiment sexually by checking each others body parts out, humans are the only creatures on the planet that have to be taught to have sex. That he was behind another child attempting to do anything makes me wonder how he thought this up. Doesn’t it make you curious?
While I don’t think he is a sex craze pedophile I am worried about him and you. I am glad that you are going to seek counseling. Please seek a counselor who specializes in children and possibly one that specializes in children who may have been molested. They will be the best person to tell you if he is just acting out or if something has happened to him.
My prayers are with you both as regardless of the outcome I know this situation is hard on both of you.
M Kay Keller
———- FOLLOW-UP ———-
QUESTION: I appreciate the understanding and concern, actually, he has two teenage brothers and apparently they had been watching some inappropriate things when they were at home alone and he was supposed to be sleeping so he saw some things on TV. I will have him checked but, I don’t believe he has been abused. Of course I know how difficult it is to be objective when it is your own child.He is the youngest of six and he gets limited positive attention, which we are striving to change. I just don’t believe that he could or would ever force a 3-year old into submission and then do what they are suggesting. Thanks again for the advice. P.S. I am not really sure if he was behind his cousin or if he was not, the story has changed repeatedly.
Answer: Dear Anonymous,
Let me suggest it couldn’t hurt either of you to get him checked and to put this behind you. It isn’t something that either of you want to carry forward into the future if it has no basis.
M Kay Keller