Relationship Tips and Talk
1. Be touchable. This applies to both men and women. Of course it is important to take care of yourself and style and grooming plays an important role in being attractive. However, if you have invested so much that you are picture perfect and untouchable what is the point?
Cut the hairspray be inviting to the touch. Let him/her muss up your hair or your clothes….be appealing to the touch besides appealing to the eyes, be appealing to the smell…most women/men do not like to be overwhelmed by perfumes/colognes….essential oils are nice as they interact with the brain rather than shut down the airways. Be touchable and give a light touch. Check out essential oils at www.youngliving.org #844043.
2. Be sexy. This isn’t all about lingerie, yes men are visual however being visual means they like to see you being confident about who you are, how you carry yourself. If you don’t feel physically attractive it is because of your internal dialogue.
Even people who feel overweight out of shape people tell me they feel sexy because they tell themselves how sexy they are, how appealing they are… you are what you think you are so, think yourself to sexy! (When the negative inner dialogue starts telling you are not, tell it thank you for your opinion and I think I am very, very sexy.) This is important because your brain listens to your inner and your vocal dialogue and then your body responds by acting out what is happening in your brain. Now men, everything you just read about women goes to men as well. Not being confident is just as much as a turn off for women as it is for men.
3. Do that special something the other person likes to do.
Don’t do things you really hate to do as neither of you will enjoy it. However, find things that you know your special other likes to do (not that you think they like to do, that they really like to do) and do it with them.
4. Cook for your love. Tried but true a way to anyone’s heart is to feed them good food. Play with food as well. There are foods that can go into the bedroom. Be creative.
Check out this blog with Chocolate Pancakes! The Nesting Project: The Perfect Idea for a Romantic Breakfast http://thenestingproject.blogspot.com/2010/02/perfect-idea-for-romantic-breakfast.html?spref=tw
5. Listening. Everyone loves to be heard. Really hearing someone involves just being quiet and being attentive to what the other person is saying. Listening for 20 minutes can be the spice of anyone’s life. The person who listens the most has the most power in the relationship.
6. Pay compliments AND say thank you when they compliment you. Listen for the compliments and respond accordingly. No one likes to hand out a compliment only to have someone disagree with him. Agree. When you are conversing nothing is more irritating than someone who disagrees or negates everything you say to them. There are ways to agree with a person’s statement without negating what they say. You can find something in what they said to affirm, some small piece to agree with that doesn’t compromise your honesty. Sometimes agreeing to disagree is the only resort to agreeing. 
One of the happiest married couples I know say they show each other the same respect they did when they were dating. They were friends before they stated dating and they both continue to treat each other like friends, saying please and thank you and handing out compliments. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all made this a daily practice with others and especially those we say we love?
7. Last and most importantly, Be silly. Have fun. Every relationship needs to have the child like appeal to it. Sing, dance, just let go for a while and have some fun!
Dr. Mary Kay Keller
TEDxTallahassee 2015
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