I have a teenage son 15, who will be in 11th grade in the fall and a 14 year old girl who will be in 9th grade. I am most likely going to be moving back to Mississippi this summer and the kids have been in school up here in NY for 3 years following hurricane Katrina. They have grown to love everything here, the mountains, the school, their friends. They are devastated that we are going back.
My decisions are all practical. I have been paying rent and the heating costs are outrageous, on top of that have been paying a mortgage on a home down south that until recently has been uninhabitable. Now that the home is livable I am thinking that financially it is the best move. My job is not looking very stable here either, I am looking for another position which may come around but, on the other hand it does not solve the fact that I will still be forking out rent and the cost of heating a home in the Adirondacks is very expensive, particularly with the cost of fuel oil steady rising.
I have discussed my concerns but they are angry at me as though I can do something more. My son also has told me if we move he will not be taking band. This really upsets me as he has been in jazz band and concert band for over 6 years and loves to play his saxophone.
I do not know if I should just secure another job up here, attempt to rent out my home down south and attempt to get a mortgage for a home up here.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks, Michelle NY upstate
Dear Michelle:
You are in a very tough situation. All of which seems to be based upon what is best financially.
I can only tell you that at the ages your children are at uprooting them will have consequences. I do understand your position as dealing with financial no win situations is never an easy thing.
However maybe this will help. In 10 years which decisions will you regret more or be the most okay with?
I think if you look deep into your heart you will hear the answer loud and clear. Our heads are for solving problems and rarely are people problems.
People first, things second.
Take Care and best of luck with the decisions you make.
M Kay Keller
Michelle’s response: Yes, this is true, I have pondered these ideals in my mind a million times. I realize people are first and things are second. however, I do worry about my ability to even save for my kids college or retirement. Both of which at this time are impossible any longer because I struggle paying a mortgage on the house down south and then rent here. If I could get a second mortgage and put both together maybe things would be better. Not yet sure, how that is going to pan out.
