• Family and Individual Education and Coaching

Mary Kay Keller

About
Books
Classes
Coaching
Podcasts
Testimonials

Our 14 year old is not working up to her full potential.

Posted on April 20, 2013 by rachel.stenta@gmail.com

Dear Kay,

Our 14 year old is a freshman in high school and is not working up to her full potential at all. I do not believe it is the transition to high school as she has always attended a Parochial school and transitioned to a school of the same size. This has been an ongoing problem for a couple of years now. On standardized tests she is advanced and even qualified for the Duke TIP program so we cannot understand her poor grades. I suspect a big part is laziness, disorganization and a lack of motivation.

Also, she is preoccupied with her social life. For example she has an F in Algebra but if she had completed her homework she would have a low A or B. We have lectured her, taken stuff away, etc. When confronted, she becomes angry and tends to blame everyone else such as the teachers, etc.
Any suggestions on what to do and how to motivate her?
Thanks,

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous:

Let me ask you this, is what you’re doing working? When you state, “suspect a big part is laziness, disorganization and a lack of motivation,” my radar goes off with sirens! Sounds like she needs to be screened for learning challenges.

I know you may not want to hear this but these learning disorders can go unnoticed in smart students for YEARS. They learn how to accommodate until they reach high school and this is where smart students start to fall down.

Her socializing is a normal part of being a teen. Teens have two developmental tasks to complete. 1. Socializing with their peers first the same sex, and then the opposite sex. 2. Separating from their parents. She sounds perfectly on track. What doesn’t sound on track is what is going on between how she is performing and how you see her aptitude.

Do get a professional screening and rule out any possibility of a learning disorder before you punish her any more. I don’t think she is doing this on purpose. In my professional opinion, there is something else going on here. And maybe lay off all the negative labels as it won’t serve your relationship with her. I think you want a good relationship with your daughter for years to come.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

http://astore.amazon.com/lifsjouagrass-20/detail/B005ELMC0Q

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • Why is Breastfeeding Awareness So Important?
  • Babies are not empty heads that we need to fill up!
  • Learn the Baby Code Here!
  • What happens when optimal caregiving is not addressed.
  • Connecting to your infant through empathy.

Recent Comments

    Archives

    • August 2022
    • December 2020
    • February 2020
    • December 2019
    • November 2019
    • October 2019
    • September 2018
    • July 2018
    • June 2018
    • May 2018
    • April 2018
    • February 2017
    • June 2016
    • March 2016
    • February 2016
    • January 2016
    • December 2015
    • May 2015
    • April 2015
    • March 2015
    • February 2015
    • January 2015
    • November 2014
    • October 2014
    • September 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
    • December 2013
    • November 2013
    • October 2013
    • September 2013
    • August 2013
    • July 2013
    • June 2013
    • May 2013
    • April 2013
    • March 2013
    • February 2013
    • January 2013
    • December 2012
    • November 2012
    • October 2012
    • September 2012
    • August 2012
    • July 2012
    • June 2012
    • May 2012
    • April 2012
    • March 2012
    • February 2012
    • January 2012
    • December 2011
    • November 2011
    • October 2011
    • September 2011
    • August 2011
    • July 2011
    • June 2011
    • May 2011
    • April 2011
    • March 2011
    • February 2011
    • January 2011
    • December 2010
    • November 2010
    • October 2010
    • September 2010
    • August 2010
    • July 2010
    • June 2010

    Categories

    • ACES
    • Adult Children
    • Adverse Childhood Experiences
    • alcohol
    • All Families
    • animal abuse
    • attachment
    • Babies
    • baby
    • Bedtime
    • bethchange
    • bonding
    • breastfeeding
    • caregiving
    • Child abuse
    • Children
    • communication
    • Dads
    • dating
    • discipline
    • emotional abuse
    • emotional development
    • empathy
    • family
    • father
    • fathering
    • grand parent
    • grandparenting
    • grandparents
    • health
    • infant
    • infant communication
    • infant empathy
    • infant massage
    • infants
    • massage
    • mother
    • mothering
    • mothers
    • Occam's razor
    • parenting
    • pet
    • prevention
    • protective factors
    • Q and A 13-17 yr old
    • Q and A 2 yr old
    • relationships
    • research
    • Resiliency
    • Romance
    • sibling
    • siblings
    • single dad
    • sleep
    • stepparenting
    • teens
    • Toddlers
    • Trauma
    • Trauma informed care
    • Uncategorized
    • videoblog
    • violence

    Meta

    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.org

    © 2000, MaryKayKeller.com. All Rights Reserved.