Dawn
Subject: male teen masturbation
Question: hello, I’m a single mom with a 15 year old son.my question concerns my son. I have caught him masturbating several times and he seems to be doing it everyday. Is this normal?
Do males masturbate that often? He always seems to have an erection.it is very noticeable when he is wearing shorts around the house. It is a little embarrassing to see he doesn’t try to hide it but I know he must know it is clearly visible. I haven’t spoken to him about this yet.
I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to embarrass him but I would prefer that he masturbate instead of walking around with an erection in front of me. How can I tell him?
I don’t care if he masturbates but I don’t want him to over do it and end up hurting himself. Is daily masturbation healthy and normal?
Answer: Dear Dawn:
A great place to get information (booklets, pamphlets,etc.) is planned parenthood. I would see if they have something for boys on masturbation or check out the local bookstore for some reading materials.
As for what is “normal” for teen boys it varies. Teen boys as are teen girls very hormonal as their bodies are changing rapidly. I wouldn’t worry about him hurting himself. What I would do is be frank with him and tell him you prefer he do so in the privacy of his bedroom, then respect his privacy. No reason for you to catch him if he is in his room or the bathroom.
As for erections, this is something no male has any control over. You certainly cannot request he masturbate to quiet you own discomfort. Ask yourself why you are so unsettled by something he has no control over.
Possibly the reading material would be good for both of you.
Hopefully as a single mom you have a relationship with at least one significant male who you can talk to and would give you more advice or listen. Men often are good resources for what to say or not to say to teen boys.
Best Wishes!
M Kay Keller