I have a question and I am hoping you can help me out! I am a stay at home mom of a 9 month old, and I have breastfed him since birth. He has always had major anxiety issues since birth, when he was 6 weeks old I went back to work and he cried for three weeks, all day every day, the daycare finally said they could not keep him anymore because he could not be consoled, he would cry until he vomited, and it was not good for him. I immediately quit my job and have stayed home every since, not regretting it for a moment. Ever since then and even now he does not go to anybody, he will cry and cry and cry, even the church nursery.
Fast forward to now, 9 months old he is pulling himself in at this point to a stand, and crawling well. I used to be able to lay him in his bed, turn on his music mobile he has and he would go to sleep. Now all he does is scream and scream and cry and wants me to rock him or hold him. He will want to nurse and refuse the pacifier, it’s a struggle to say the least. He is doing it at night too, wants to nurse all night, which I don’t mind nursing at night, but he fights the sleep. Sunday and Saturday I tried to let him cry it out, going in there every few minutes laying him down, telling him it’s night night time, and leaving the room, after 30 minutes I could not handle it anymore and it looked like he was not going to give in. I don’t know what to do, except continue the struggle and hope this passes, I don’t want him to get used to being rocked, so I try at all costs to not rock him, but he isn’t having it.
Do you have any suggestions? If you have never encountered this before, I completely understand. Thanks for your help…
I am so sorry you and your little one are having such a rough time!
Do peruse through all of my previous postings and look up the numerous writings of suggestions about bedtime routines.
Make sure he is getting enough hard play during the day to wear him out and then do the following.
Children need routines (not schedules) for bedtime to reduce anxiety. They need to know what activity comes next each time it is time for bed.
I strongly encourage you to start out with checking the environment about 90 minutes before you want him to go down for the night. Make sure the TV, radio, computer and other noise devices are shut off. Make the lighting softer, and put on some soothing relaxing music. Even purchase a CD of the heartbeat rhythm that helps children go to sleep. (warning, it puts me out too!).
Mother’s Touch CD
Then start with bedtime bathing (baths bring the body temp down and all of us sleep better when we are not hot), then move to a bedtime story (make sure it is a peaceful story) and lastly, to the bedtime massage! Who doesn’t sleep soundly after a full body massage? Infant Massage
Massage has been shown in the research to release the happy, peaceful and serene hormones in our body. If a nightly massage doesn’t do the trick then try massaging him ever 8 hours. I teach infant massage by appointment over SKYPE feel free to contact me for class!
Contact me to set up an appointment!
Smell and colors are also important. Make sure his sleeping environment has color that will relax him rather than stimulate his central nervous system.
Smell….(YoungLiving.org #844043) is where you will find a blend of essential oils (Gentle Baby) which when diffused into the air will put him in a place of serenity! (Never use oils directly on small children). You can diffuse this oil in the air or place it in a plastic bag with his favorite blanket so it absorbs the smell. Baby Book on Aromatherapy!
If you consistently apply these techniques each day you will begin to notice a difference in how he responds to sleep.
M Kay Keller