• Family and Individual Education and Coaching

Mary Kay Keller

About
Books
Classes
Coaching
Podcasts
Testimonials

My 2 year old is having separation anxiety, help!

Posted on July 19, 2012 by rachel.stenta@gmail.com

Dear Kay,

My daughter is 2.5. She has been going to the same daycare lady for a year, 3 days a week and still cries like it’s the end of the world every morning. I ask her why she doesn’t want to go to Kim’s and she just says because she wants to stay with Mommy or Daddy. She has never said anything negative about her day care lady. She’s been very clingy to daddy lately to the point where we think she needs to spend more time with him but now I wonder if it will make it even worse. I don’t have an option to stay home and the thought of her going to preschool anytime soon is scary if she can’t handle this situation…


Dear Susie:

The upside of separation anxiety is she is truly attached to her caregivers. This is preferable to a child who doesn’t care if her caregivers go away.

Her anxiety is more the issue here. She needs plenty of routines. Routines are incredibly important to young children as they have not sense of time. They rely on routines to tell them what comes next. Check your routines to make sure it is CONSISTENT. Consistent routines lower anxiety in children. Make sure you also have some fun times in your routine especially before she leaves in the morning for daycare.

I also suggest sending a small picture of you and her dad with her as well as a favorite blanket or stuffed animal. She needs things that smell like you or her dad. This will help her during the day as her sense of time is not like yours. For you 5 minutes goes quickly for a child it is more like 5 months or years. So do whatever you can to show her you understand how much grief she is experiencing at her separation.

Sincerely,

M Kay Keller
Realize you may also be reinforcing her fears if you show more joy when you pick her up than when you drop her off. Parents often tense up when they know their child is going to cry at drop off and then they smile big and hug their child tight when they pick them up. So you can see how this reinforces the behavior of crying and anxiety.

When you drop her off make sure to tell her what time (daycare activity) you will be picking her up after. Make her drop off time more fun and less stressful for her and for you.

http://astore.amazon.com/lifsjouagrass-20/detail/B005ELMC0Q

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

My 2 year old is having separation anxiety, help!

Posted on July 19, 2012 by Mary Kay Keller

Dear Kay,

My daughter is 2.5. She has been going to the same daycare lady for a year, 3 days a week and still cries like it’s the end of the world every morning. I ask her why she doesn’t want to go to Kim’s and she just says because she wants to stay with Mommy or Daddy. She has never said anything negative about her day care lady. She’s been very clingy to daddy lately to the point where we think she needs to spend more time with him but now I wonder if it will make it even worse. I don’t have an option to stay home and the thought of her going to preschool anytime soon is scary if she can’t handle this situation…


Dear Susie:

The upside of separation anxiety is she is truly attached to her caregivers. This is preferable to a child who doesn’t care if her caregivers go away.

Her anxiety is more the issue here. She needs plenty of routines. Routines are incredibly important to young children as they have not sense of time. They rely on routines to tell them what comes next. Check your routines to make sure it is CONSISTENT. Consistent routines lower anxiety in children. Make sure you also have some fun times in your routine especially before she leaves in the morning for daycare.

I also suggest sending a small picture of you and her dad with her as well as a favorite blanket or stuffed animal. She needs things that smell like you or her dad. This will help her during the day as her sense of time is not like yours. For you 5 minutes goes quickly for a child it is more like 5 months or years. So do whatever you can to show her you understand how much grief she is experiencing at her separation.

Sincerely,

M Kay Keller
Realize you may also be reinforcing her fears if you show more joy when you pick her up than when you drop her off. Parents often tense up when they know their child is going to cry at drop off and then they smile big and hug their child tight when they pick them up. So you can see how this reinforces the behavior of crying and anxiety.

When you drop her off make sure to tell her what time (daycare activity) you will be picking her up after. Make her drop off time more fun and less stressful for her and for you.

http://astore.amazon.com/lifsjouagrass-20/detail/B005ELMC0Q

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • Why is Breastfeeding Awareness So Important?
  • Babies are not empty heads that we need to fill up!
  • Learn the Baby Code Here!
  • What happens when optimal caregiving is not addressed.
  • Connecting to your infant through empathy.

Recent Comments

    Archives

    • August 2022
    • December 2020
    • February 2020
    • December 2019
    • November 2019
    • October 2019
    • September 2018
    • July 2018
    • June 2018
    • May 2018
    • April 2018
    • February 2017
    • June 2016
    • March 2016
    • February 2016
    • January 2016
    • December 2015
    • May 2015
    • April 2015
    • March 2015
    • February 2015
    • January 2015
    • November 2014
    • October 2014
    • September 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
    • December 2013
    • November 2013
    • October 2013
    • September 2013
    • August 2013
    • July 2013
    • June 2013
    • May 2013
    • April 2013
    • March 2013
    • February 2013
    • January 2013
    • December 2012
    • November 2012
    • October 2012
    • September 2012
    • August 2012
    • July 2012
    • June 2012
    • May 2012
    • April 2012
    • March 2012
    • February 2012
    • January 2012
    • December 2011
    • November 2011
    • October 2011
    • September 2011
    • August 2011
    • July 2011
    • June 2011
    • May 2011
    • April 2011
    • March 2011
    • February 2011
    • January 2011
    • December 2010
    • November 2010
    • October 2010
    • September 2010
    • August 2010
    • July 2010
    • June 2010

    Categories

    • ACES
    • Adult Children
    • Adverse Childhood Experiences
    • alcohol
    • All Families
    • animal abuse
    • attachment
    • Babies
    • baby
    • Bedtime
    • bethchange
    • bonding
    • breastfeeding
    • caregiving
    • Child abuse
    • Children
    • communication
    • Dads
    • dating
    • discipline
    • emotional abuse
    • emotional development
    • empathy
    • family
    • father
    • fathering
    • grand parent
    • grandparenting
    • grandparents
    • health
    • infant
    • infant communication
    • infant empathy
    • infant massage
    • infants
    • massage
    • mother
    • mothering
    • mothers
    • Occam's razor
    • parenting
    • pet
    • prevention
    • protective factors
    • Q and A 13-17 yr old
    • Q and A 2 yr old
    • relationships
    • research
    • Resiliency
    • Romance
    • sibling
    • siblings
    • single dad
    • sleep
    • stepparenting
    • teens
    • Toddlers
    • Trauma
    • Trauma informed care
    • Uncategorized
    • videoblog
    • violence

    Meta

    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.org

    © 2000, MaryKayKeller.com. All Rights Reserved.