• Family and Individual Education and Coaching

Mary Kay Keller

About
Books
Classes
Coaching
Podcasts
Testimonials

My 19 year old daughter is not behaving!

Posted on September 5, 2010 by rachel.stenta@gmail.com

Questioner: Janet

Subject: 19 year old teenager

Question: My 19 year old has been spending the night at her boyfriend parent’s home. I don’t like it, she refuses to stay at her own house. I moved her bed into the garage to give her sibling more room for sleep overs. She’s so mad, she moved out. What can I do to get our relationship back. Did I make a mistake. I am at my wits end with her disrespect with me.

Answer: Dear Janet, You may not like my answer either. She is 19. She is legally an adult and your not liking her staying over at her boyfriends house is about you not her. If you want a relationship with her I suggest starting with an apology.

Tell her that her growing up and becoming adult snuck up on you and that you realize she is capable of making her own decisions. That you would like an adult relationship with her and that although you will try to not make judgements about the choices she makes it may take lots of work because you were not ready to let her go yet. In otherwords take responsibility for the loss you are feeling as your child has become an adult and accept that you will need to respond to her differently if you truly want a long term relationship with your adult daughter.

Now also realize that even though we grant children adult status at the age of 18 their brain is not done forming until they are 25. You probably won’t agree with her choices for sometime and she will probably not always act like an adult until she ages and gets some experience under her belt. Be patient. Be the person she can talk to without judgement and lecturing her.

You don’t have to AGREE with her to just LISTEN.

Transitions to being parent of an adult child are tricky. It’s not easy. Be kind to her and be kind to yourself.

Best Wishes!

M Kay Keller

http://astore.amazon.com/lifsjouagrass-20/detail/B005ELMC0Q

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • Why is Breastfeeding Awareness So Important?
  • Babies are not empty heads that we need to fill up!
  • Learn the Baby Code Here!
  • What happens when optimal caregiving is not addressed.
  • Connecting to your infant through empathy.

Recent Comments

    Archives

    • August 2022
    • December 2020
    • February 2020
    • December 2019
    • November 2019
    • October 2019
    • September 2018
    • July 2018
    • June 2018
    • May 2018
    • April 2018
    • February 2017
    • June 2016
    • March 2016
    • February 2016
    • January 2016
    • December 2015
    • May 2015
    • April 2015
    • March 2015
    • February 2015
    • January 2015
    • November 2014
    • October 2014
    • September 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
    • December 2013
    • November 2013
    • October 2013
    • September 2013
    • August 2013
    • July 2013
    • June 2013
    • May 2013
    • April 2013
    • March 2013
    • February 2013
    • January 2013
    • December 2012
    • November 2012
    • October 2012
    • September 2012
    • August 2012
    • July 2012
    • June 2012
    • May 2012
    • April 2012
    • March 2012
    • February 2012
    • January 2012
    • December 2011
    • November 2011
    • October 2011
    • September 2011
    • August 2011
    • July 2011
    • June 2011
    • May 2011
    • April 2011
    • March 2011
    • February 2011
    • January 2011
    • December 2010
    • November 2010
    • October 2010
    • September 2010
    • August 2010
    • July 2010
    • June 2010

    Categories

    • ACES
    • Adult Children
    • Adverse Childhood Experiences
    • alcohol
    • All Families
    • animal abuse
    • attachment
    • Babies
    • baby
    • Bedtime
    • bethchange
    • bonding
    • breastfeeding
    • caregiving
    • Child abuse
    • Children
    • communication
    • Dads
    • dating
    • discipline
    • emotional abuse
    • emotional development
    • empathy
    • family
    • father
    • fathering
    • grand parent
    • grandparenting
    • grandparents
    • health
    • infant
    • infant communication
    • infant empathy
    • infant massage
    • infants
    • massage
    • mother
    • mothering
    • mothers
    • Occam's razor
    • parenting
    • pet
    • prevention
    • protective factors
    • Q and A 13-17 yr old
    • Q and A 2 yr old
    • relationships
    • research
    • Resiliency
    • Romance
    • sibling
    • siblings
    • single dad
    • sleep
    • stepparenting
    • teens
    • Toddlers
    • Trauma
    • Trauma informed care
    • Uncategorized
    • videoblog
    • violence

    Meta

    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.org

    © 2000, MaryKayKeller.com. All Rights Reserved.