• Family and Individual Education and Coaching

Mary Kay Keller

About
Books
Classes
Coaching
Podcasts
Testimonials

Honestly, what are you really looking for in a relationship?

Posted on February 16, 2015 by Mary Kay Keller

More than ever singles are staying single. I hear complaints from single people all the time. Why can’t I find anyone? There are not any good “women” or “men” out there. The complaints are numerous as people go bumping around trying to find the “perfect” person they can spend the “rest of their life” with and ride off into the romantic sunset.

I recently buried my father. He like my mother was married three times. Their first marriage to each other ended after 22 years in divorce. Their second and third marriages were until death do us part. What I learned was that there is no happily ever after, there is at best a “until death do us part” experience, leaving at least one of the two people alone again. The search for “forever” is not based in reality. Life is full of constant changes and nothing stays the same, not your age, not your life and certainly not your relationships. Change is constant. I am writing a series of mini-books based upon a Life Skills program I developed many years ago. I am writing this series because I find a common theme with the people I hear from and that theme is adjusting to change. I will be publishing later this year. So keep coming back to check my listing of books as they expand. Read on below to determine where you are in the process of relationship connection.

Anyone can get married. Falling in love however is another matter. Many people are not honest with themselves when they call me saying they want to be in a relationship. The first relationship we must develop has to be with ourselves. We need to know what we need, what we want and more essentially how to be honest with ourselves. I am convinced divorces occur because of this initial dishonesty with ourselves. Many times what we really mean is I want sex, I want sex on a consistent basis and I want it on my terms. This is not the same thing as I want sex with someone I fall in love with or that I want to be with someone for companionship for the rest of my life so I don’t have to face life alone. This is not the same thing as I want to avoid being alone. Relationships are pretty simple. What is not simple is the co-vert reasons we are motivated by to enter into a relationship. If we are not clear and honest with ourselves, as we will lack the capacity to be clear and honest with someone else.

I ran across this article and found it interesting. It definitely has a hook. What I find interesting is how many people fail to ask people about themselves. Many times we are so focused and intent on selling ourselves that we forget to show an interest in someone else. What are their dreams? What are they passionate about? What do they like or dislike? These are the things that intimacy is built upon, getti9ng to know someone else. Exploring someone else’s world and sharing our own world is essential to beginning a relationship. Intimacy comes in three stages, 1. Interest and engagement, 2. Emotional intimacy and 3. Physical intimacy. Participating in all three of these stages and even revisiting them in a circular fluid movement is what keeps relationships alive and invigorating. This is not just true of romantic relationships, the same principles can be applied to your children and others you are in a non-sexual relationship with in your intimate world.

Answer these questions:
Where are you at in the relationship with yourself?
Where are you now in the relationship with someone else?
Or have you been in past relationships?
If you don’t like the answers let’s talk.  Click here for a confidential session today!

Please do enjoy this article and take away what you deem appropriate. 

Ask these 36 questions to fall in love?

Dr. Mary Kay Keller
TEDxTallahassee 2015
Book Today!

http://astore.amazon.com/lifsjouagrass-20/detail/B005ELMC0Q

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Posts

  • Why is Breastfeeding Awareness So Important?
  • Babies are not empty heads that we need to fill up!
  • Learn the Baby Code Here!
  • What happens when optimal caregiving is not addressed.
  • Connecting to your infant through empathy.

Recent Comments

    Archives

    • August 2022
    • December 2020
    • February 2020
    • December 2019
    • November 2019
    • October 2019
    • September 2018
    • July 2018
    • June 2018
    • May 2018
    • April 2018
    • February 2017
    • June 2016
    • March 2016
    • February 2016
    • January 2016
    • December 2015
    • May 2015
    • April 2015
    • March 2015
    • February 2015
    • January 2015
    • November 2014
    • October 2014
    • September 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
    • December 2013
    • November 2013
    • October 2013
    • September 2013
    • August 2013
    • July 2013
    • June 2013
    • May 2013
    • April 2013
    • March 2013
    • February 2013
    • January 2013
    • December 2012
    • November 2012
    • October 2012
    • September 2012
    • August 2012
    • July 2012
    • June 2012
    • May 2012
    • April 2012
    • March 2012
    • February 2012
    • January 2012
    • December 2011
    • November 2011
    • October 2011
    • September 2011
    • August 2011
    • July 2011
    • June 2011
    • May 2011
    • April 2011
    • March 2011
    • February 2011
    • January 2011
    • December 2010
    • November 2010
    • October 2010
    • September 2010
    • August 2010
    • July 2010
    • June 2010

    Categories

    • ACES
    • Adult Children
    • Adverse Childhood Experiences
    • alcohol
    • All Families
    • animal abuse
    • attachment
    • Babies
    • baby
    • Bedtime
    • bethchange
    • bonding
    • breastfeeding
    • caregiving
    • Child abuse
    • Children
    • communication
    • Dads
    • dating
    • discipline
    • emotional abuse
    • emotional development
    • empathy
    • family
    • father
    • fathering
    • grand parent
    • grandparenting
    • grandparents
    • health
    • infant
    • infant communication
    • infant empathy
    • infant massage
    • infants
    • massage
    • mother
    • mothering
    • mothers
    • Occam's razor
    • parenting
    • pet
    • prevention
    • protective factors
    • Q and A 13-17 yr old
    • Q and A 2 yr old
    • relationships
    • research
    • Resiliency
    • Romance
    • sibling
    • siblings
    • single dad
    • sleep
    • stepparenting
    • teens
    • Toddlers
    • Trauma
    • Trauma informed care
    • Uncategorized
    • videoblog
    • violence

    Meta

    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.org

    © 2000, MaryKayKeller.com. All Rights Reserved.