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The way I dealt with teens was to close the door to their room. I felt they deserved privacy and we had an agreement. They would get the trash out of their room, do their own laundry, no food was allowed in their room. As long as they kept to the agreement of these three things, I did not enter in and disturb the mess. They would clean their room it just took much longer than I expected eventually when they couldn’t find something they needed in a timely fashion for whatever social commitment they had they realized cleaning their room was a must. Shutting the door allowed me to roam through my own home undisturbed by the clutter and mess in their room.
The outcome? They are adults with families of their own. I watch with humor as they choose to handle messy bedrooms differently than I did…..
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203436904577150663905052498.html